Which way??!!!

Went to the DMZ on Sunday.  Will post more picture later, but thought I'd start with this one.  The one where the US President and the Korean President's of the time celebrated the re-opening of a train station in South Korea.  Some day, this train station will run directly to Pyeongyang, but until then it will be most famous as the place where there are many, many copies of the picture where George W is holding a marker upside down. 

Musings

Lost another phone last night. Right after I had put money on it. Fall is coming and the weather is lovely. My hair is growing, finally. Encountered the grossest food I have ever seen. Fried Mac-n-Cheese from TGI Fridays. Finally came around to liking the drinks with solid particles floating around in them. Shark Week has come to Korea. Been watching lots of Discovery Channel and BBC. Went out singing Wednesday night. Had a power ballad night with lots of Heart. It was cheesy. And fantastic. A coworker has gotten fired and our boss has vowed to never hire any more men. 14 women in one office is too much estrogen. If I ever come back, I need a hagwon with less foreign teachers. Been thinking a lot about Mexican food. Going to the DMZ tomorrow. Will hopefully be more interesting then.

Chuseok

Chuseok is a 3 day holiday in Korea, a harvest festival that is sort of like their Thanksgiving. The kids came to school dressed in traditional clothing, hanbok. They've never looked so freaking adorable.

Bunnies...

in the subway? Sure. Why not.

Korean Grapes Are Weird

One of my students must live on a vineyard because she brings me grapes at least once a week. And while I love getting presents, Korean grapes are weird. The skin is really tough so you squeeze the fruit into your mouth and toss out the skin. And there are always 2-3 big seeds in the middle. An appreciated- albeit always messy gift.

Saw "Rent" on Saturday with 2 of the original cast members. They are about 15 years too old to be playing 20 somethings but it was still sweet to watch people on stage whom I had first heard in high school on cd. Sara made a video of it that you can watch here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPcDRcpV0NI). Made airplanes today as our "science" experiment. That was also pretty sweet.

Teacher!!!!!!!!!

Every Monday morning twelve noodles are always bouncing and bubbling over with excitement to tell me what they did this weekend. Playing Nintendo. Eating BBQ. Going to grandma's house. Rollerblading at Olympic Park. After six months my kids are pretty predictable. Except this morning I was thrown for a loop when my twins Eric and Brian told me they bought pets this weekend. Ok, that's cool. Brian tells me he got a hamster. And Eric tells me he got a squirrel. A squirrel? I turn to Brian-who speaks English exponentially better than his brother- and double check. A squirrel?! Brian nods matter of factly. I show the kids a picture of a squirrel from a children's dictionary and Eric nods eagerly. It was the same picture of his new pet at home. Except his is in a cage.
I suppose a rodent is a rodent is a rodent. But... IT'S A SQUIRREL!!!

I just didn't think Korea still had the capacity to surprise me.

In case you weren't sure...




when a road ceases to exist a car will fall. Down...down...down...

And then we ate conch shells

Had a truly authentic seafood dinner last weekend. A basket of clams, mussels, and conch shells were placed in front of me with a pair of scissors, gloves, and kitchen tongs in addition to a very hot burner. We placed the (still living...or so I suspect) marine life on the burner and waited until they started to bubble spit to use the tongs to tear them open and the scissors to cut the meat out of them. Disturbing. Sadistic. Kind of gross. Oh so fun.
Interesting side note: Conch shell meat. Not so good.

Glowing Mud Slugs

Had some fun in a little island off of Incheon this weekend. When the tide went out there were miles and miles of thick, oozy mud to walk on and at night we discovered hundred of these sea cucumbers. They were normal looking sea slugs, but when you touch them they glow in the dark and secrete glow in the dark juices on you. Seriously some of the craziest things I've ever seen. Here's a pretty lame video of Michele and I trying- in vain- to capture on some sort of film these crazy, crazy...things.

Crocs. Crocs, crocs, crocs, crocs, CROCS!!!

I suppose crocs are this generation jelly shoes. But I hate them. They're so unbelievably ugly. I really need to snap a picture of the new croc high heels that are getting let loose on the streets. Here's a familiy that are wearing 3 new styles of crocs.

Where's Waldo?

Hot Mamma!

Seen lots of blankets, warehouses, sidewalks covered with red chili peppers lately.

How I Roll in SoKo

Wine in a mug. Toilet paper instead of paper towels. Cookie dough in a salad bowl. And everything on the ground. Chez Megan is a classy, classy joint.






BTW- my friend Chris is going home for 2 months and being the last cool person in our office, I got his oven during his absence. These are the first baked goods I have made since departing US 9 months ago. We had to make some substitutes. No vanilla. Not sure if we used baking powder or baking soda. Really, really dark brown sugar. And chopped up milk chocolate bars instead of chocolate chips. But either our taste buds have adjusted or we're amazing bakers, because these cookies ROCK!

Awkward Work Dinner

There are 14 western teachers at my school and 8 korean staff members. The owner of my school tries to segregate us as much as possible, to the point of forcibly separating us at required work dinners. The bosses left early at our last dinner and after liquoring up some of the ladies our tables started to mix, resulting in some memorable karaoke, popsicles extravaganza, and soju bombs.

Went on a field trip. Thoroughly terrified the children.

Took the kids to a fire station today to give them some hands on experience with emergencies. We got put in fake kitchens that experienced earthquakes, vacuous wind tunnels to simulate hurricanes, used real fire extinguishers to put out fake fires, and, the highlight of the day, we got put through an obstacle course where we were either in pitch black or blinded by smoke so as to experience how it feels to be trapped in a burning building. And in case we didn't appreciate the seriousness of the situation, there were fake corpses scattered around the maze. My kids did ok, but a couple of the girls got lost and were screaming in absolute terror until I retraced my steps and found them by an elevator shaft where a beheaded man was sprawled.
A pretty good field trip.

Saw a Korean movie on Sunday afternoon. It's called Haeundae and, apparently, it's the current blockbuster in Korea. And...I don't know...it's special. We were under the impression it was a tsunami flick ala "The Day After Tomorrow" where mother nature gets back at us for our decadent lifestyle by destroying cities and populations. It turned out to be a crazy movie, about crazy people, with approximately 5 minutes of tsunami action. The main thing I took out of it was that if I want to bag myself a Korean, I need to act CRAZY as hell (come on, Mom, that's not really a curse word:) Absurd. Insane. Bat ass crazy. When I bite men's lips and scream about my fake-unborn child in public during dates, this man will fall madly in love with me and die in his rescue of me. When my slutty male boy toy puts my child at risk I will instead to choose to freak out on my separated husband and ignore all his very-educated-tsunami-warnings about getting me and my child to safety. This man, too, will die for me. When I stop up my toilet in a hotel I will refuse to tip the maintenance man forced to unplug it and then expect him to rescue me from a trapped elevator. He's poor and ugly, so he wasn't a main character. But I'm pretty sure he died for me. The sound of a screeching Korean female is unlike any other, and as this movie featured screeching Korean females from childhood, to young women, to elderly it was evident that the sound never really softens. Or becomes less lethal to the ear drums. The son of the main character in the movie is an elementary student of my friend Michele. The first time you see him, his father has tied a string to his tooth and slaps him backward on the floor in a botched attempt to pull the tooth out. The kid (Michele's student) is screaming. The father ignores him in favor of getting up to run outside to check on his gal pal. This father also spends the majority of the movie out of his mind on soju, the deathly Korean rice wine. But at the end of the movie he gets his son, his mom, and his hot gal pal agrees to marry him. So I guess the craziness goes both ways.

Found a place that served awesome western style breakfast. Actually ate french toast with real maple syrup. Good Sunday.

Note for parentals: I am back on skype.

Sunrise Hike Pictures

This is the sign we followed- or I suppose ignored- all the way down.

This is the locked fence to the soccer field. We came out on the opposite side of this fence. When we realized it was locked we maneuvered our way throw a hole in some netting. It was slick.

Sunrise Hike at Gwanaksan Park

Michele and I decided Friday morning that a midnight hike for that night sounded like a wonderful idea. Hiking at night is the only way to hike in weather this hot and unbearable and, probably more appealing, I had never done a hike like this before. We met up with the guy organizing it at midnight and were surprised/dismayed to see that there were 36 people on this hike. I can be social when I want to, but I have to really want to. And that night, with bright flashlights and headgear blinding me whenever somebody turned to talk, I really didn't want to.

After about an hour of hiking as a group, Michele and I split off from the rest and as soon as we were alone, we started to actually enjoy ourselves. Silence reigned. Our eyes adjusted sans the lights. We climbed over rocks. We gossiped. We chatted. We plugged ourselves into ipods and talked about music. We stared at actual stars. Sometimes we wandered away from one another to just sit in silence and stare at the massive, metropolitan, monster stretched out beneath us. I'm pretty sure my body provided Thanksgiving-style meals to entire colonies of mosquitoes. Whenever our position got awkward or painful we wandered on. If either of us said something that reminded Michele of a song she would start singing. I got a little slap happy and started giggling hysterically over a Beauty and the Beast reference. Neither of us had ever even been to Gwanaksan before, so wandering aimlessly between the hours of 1AM and 4AM may not have been an idea supported by much logic but since I am sitting here (on my newly repaired computer! which it didn't cost me a cent to fix!) typing this entry I suppose it all ended well.

The hike was slow going since we chose not to use the flashlight in favor of allowing our eyes the chance to adjust. We came across a few other hikers but since it was so dark and we couldn't even tell if we to greet them in Korean or English, we all stared suspiciously at one another, tense, until one or the other continued on their way. It's strange how unfriendly we become in the night. Eventually we found a perfect rock to perch ourselves on and wait for the sunrise. I guess I shouldn't puff myself up too much for I did spook a couple times. The only wildlife that seems to exist in Seoul are insects and stray cats and though I have a fat, clawing, domesticated cat waiting at home, I am truly scared of these strays. They're just such determined little creatures. Who would not think twice about screaming and clawing your eyes out. Or so I believed last night. And being sleep deprived in the middle of a national park watching them edge too close for comfort I may have shone myself to be less than sensible. In an honestly fear-for-my-life moment, I took the tuna gimbap from my bag- which I was convinced was drawing them so close- and threw it as far as I could into the woods. And just to be sure, I also threw my peanut butter and honey sandwich. I'm very sorry about the littering. It was not done with a light heart. Around 5 the sky started to really lighten and-in what seemed like only a few minutes- all the darkness started to evaporate and suddenly I didn't have to toe and feel my way around because I could make out my surroundings. While I had been convinced that Michele and I had wandered off the trail, a clearly worn path existed beneath our rocks. We weren't nearly as hard core as I felt we were at 3:30 in the morning. That's the thing I love about sunrises. One minute it's dark and perilous and stray cats are as threatening as mountain lions. The next it's light and without adrenaline keeping you hyperalert you realize how safe you actually are. And it happens so quickly you aren't even aware of the change.

We started wandering down at 6. It didn't take too long, but we definitely were on a path that we were not supposed to be on, as proven by the several signs we came across with big red x's pointing down to the trail we eventually ended up on. My second freak out moment of the hike came when I broke through an enormous spider web and started jumping and shrieking, convinced the humongous brown thing on my knee was the live spider. It wasn't. Michele remained cool and calm but I think she was convinced I was not going to get off the mountain without a few broken bones. We came out onto an indoor soccer field from Seoul National University. Thankfully it was early and the only people who stared confusedly at us were the men who were just returning from their Soju driven nights. They couldn't trust anything their senses relayed to them. And at that point in the morning. Neither could we. We were hoping for a big, western style breakfast in the morning but nothing in Korea is open at 7AM. Not even Krispy Kremes or Starbucks. So we went our separate ways, feeling intoxicated with lack of sleep. I left my apartment at 1 to go and buy an assortment of popsicles. Which have sustained me all day. And are delicious.

More Silliness

Fourteen boxes of tissue paper mysteriously appeared in our office last week, two of which have ended up on my desk for reasons unbeknownst to me. And while twiddling my thumbs, computerless, one afternoon I really got a chance to analyze this box. Firstly, it's an advertisement for a rival English school. Secondly, the picture's of a white woman teaching 2 white children with a thought bubble coming from her head saying "every day. funny day." I enjoy the irony of grammatically incorrect English on an English school's ad, whilst reading said box in a competitor school.

Also included 6 out of 10 of The Kids College Commandments. Every day for the past 10 months I've walked past this sign. Sometimes, the best part of my entire day will be how the development of a sound reputation is at number 2 while being a true educational institute is number 5.

That Didn't Last Long.

I have long suspected the month of August hates me.

And since I am on this blog, online, reneging on my previous post's attempt to stay offline is just further proof that August laughed at my attempt to become a more rounded person. Because my computer, and hence my life, fell a perilous 2 feet yesterday off my coffee table and onto my wooden floor, made strange whirring noises, and went black. I stayed up till 5 in the morning attempting to get it turned on. Am going to consult with the office tech-ie to figure out the survival rate of computers that have taken sky dives. Skyping is temporarily unavailable. Emails can only be responded to during the hours I am at work. But hey, my cell phone from home recently got a 2 year extension on it and STILL works out here. So I guess I'm going back to old school forms of communication.

Considering the hell that has been my work this past week, the looming loss of one of my best friends, and this disgustingly hot weather this was the absolute worse time for me to be a klutz.
And my stapler broke.

I blame August.

The Sole of our Seoul's Soul (really lame... I just can't help myself when it comes to homophones)

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1914471,00.html

Cost-UH-Co

Got paid on Monday and on Tuesday night went on an epic Cost-Co run with some of my coworkers. Cost-Co has always created mixed feelings of excitement and a mixture of severe anxiety and panic. On one hand you can buy 6 pounds of pretzels for 12 bucks. On the other, it's a warehouse where you are boxed in by chain link fences while wooden crates of toilet paper reach all the way up to the rafters. And once you infiltrate the area of the store where samples are given people turn positively feral.

I guess everybody got paid on Monday, because Cost-Co was positively terrifying last night. I got separated from my people and when straining on tip toe to reach the last block of sharp cheddar, a woman with babies strapped on both her back and her front side, attempted to steal my cart. Then, when I was going down an aisle where a woman was giving samples of some noodle dish I got a flat tire from a cart that was going full speed to load up on the rapidly disappearing dixie cups. Have you ever had a flat tire from a grocery cart? It hurts. Really, really hurts. After 5 hours filling our cart to maximum capacity, we elbowed our way to get a table in the food court for some 2 dollar hot dogs where we met the western teacher who was responsible for bringing swine flu into the country.

The four of us were heading out, and while in the midst of insisting to my male coworker that I was not as weak as I looked and could indeed carry my own bag, I missed a step and went flying on the sidewallk, crushing the first loaf of wheat bread I have owned in this country while simultaneously removing the layer of skin from my knee cap.

I feel as if I have survived a battle. And now I need to recover.

Silly Simple Somewhat Stupid Southernly Signs

In general, safety standards in Korea seem sub par, but I don't know, maybe thats my hyper sensitized-over regualted- American eye. Buildings can get knocked down and then built back up in the span of a week with no barriers around construction zones, babies on bikes, cars on sidewalks...it goes on and on. But one of my favorite things are the "Don't Fall!" signs that are frequent sights at tourist spots. I'm a klutz. I don't judge the klutziness of others. But when I'm walking on a paved, staired path with a rail I don't usually need a sign to tell me what will happen if I walk off the road, away from the stairs, and jump the rail.

I know all about gravity.




The Top of An Election is a Clean Election.
Whereas some signs explain when you don't need them too, some don't explain nearly as much as they should.

Seogwipo, High Five!

Went to Seogwipo (Soggy Po) on Jeju island for my week off this summer. I didn't leave Korea but I got as far South as I could. Where everything was most un-Seoul like.

For the first 3 days we took the coastal, scenic road around the island. It's not a large island, you can go from the northern most city to the southern most city on a direct road in about an hour, but we circumnavigated the island and took our time. Our vehicle was a sexy white scooter which required a not so sexy red helmet. We stopped at gorgeous turquoise water beaches and took roads that were lined for miles with seaweed drying in the sun, getting ready to be wrapped for your culinary pleasure around California rolls. The seaweed was occasionally joined by laundry lines of squid or blankets of garlic cloves, but mostly it was just seaweed. Another day, another road, a truck full of energy drinks has an accident and for a half mile or so we are intoxicated with fruity, highly caffeinated scents. Cows (both with horns! both male?) mounting each other but stopping to stare at us indignantly for interrupting. There were giant oranges, depressing zoos, and a pretty cool Mongolian themed Medieval Times park. Our navigation was not always at high alert. Went past Jeju-Si, the biggest city on the island, missed the entrance to one of the waterfalls, as well as the biggest temple in Asia (a claim I have some doubts about, but it was a large temple none the less.)

First night the drama unfolds like a high school tween drama. We drink from R2D2 at Cool Hoff before making our way to sing at Korean karoake late into the night. Wandering white boy ears hear the undeniably English voices belting out “Sweet Caroline” and open the door to join us in the famous chorus. For Seogwipo is a small town and there can only be so many English speakers. And they all know each other. A small town is a small town. Even if it is on an island. Ate great Korean food. Duck! Raw Pheasant! Hallabongs! Jaw-sicles! A meal made up entirely of side dishes. Sandwiches. Lots of sandwiches. Mmmm. Deserted houses in orange groves with newspaper clippings dated to when Clinton was first elected. Winking ajummas, bad movie sequels, good people, funny people, maybe one crazy, cute kids, even came across my own beatnik coworkers wandering aimlessly in parking lots and on piers.

Hallasan, the tallest mountain in Korea. On our way up a worker warned of dangerous shoes. I laughed it off, my hiking sandals serve me well in Seoul.

In Seoul the trails are not dotted with treacherous ankle breaking lava rocks.

Took the long trail up. Seongpanak. 3 hours up , 5 hours down. Never been so permeated by wetness in my life. On way up it was your typical mist, on the way down it was torrential downpour. Got to the top, took a picture. Looked at the lake and crater for a minute. Started shivering. And headed back down. Journey dotted with mysterious signs with the nonsensical phrase "The Top of an Election is a Clean Election."

Torrential downpours supplemented by beautiful blue skies, the likes of which are never seen in Seoul. Waterfalls. Many, many waterfalls. Tourist traps? Yes. But beautiful none the less. Waterfalls that have previous been devoid of water trickled a few drops down rust tinted mountain sides. Birds, lesser cuckoos, Roe deer, puppies, giant bugs and snails. My favorite part? Igor Fefflehoff

No Longer Just an Urban Legend

Fathers and grandfathers be warned: the entire point to this entry may make you uncomfortable.

A common grief that finds its way into the heart of every Western woman in Korea is the lack of bras. Not lack of. They're sold from the back of trucks and underground in every other subway station. But the lack of any sizes above cups that resemble the 1/4 measuring cup. For 9 months I've watched helplessly as my monster of a washing machine destroys clothing article after clothing article. And my bras were some of the first victims. The worst is when you open your washing machine and everything is just a big knot that you can pick up with one hand. And the binding that ties your jeans, sweaters, tshirts together is one bra, being stretched to its limits. But there's no where to buy bras. Even the American stores out here, like Gap and American Apparel, only stock items in children- I mean Asian women- sizes. A few foreign women whispered about shady dealings in dark alleys where suitcases were opened and wal mart bras were sold for hundreds of dollars. But the situation seemed pretty gloomy.

Until last Saturday that is.

I was wandering around Hongdae- a college/artsy/nightclub- area with no particular destination in mind. And I saw a Korean lingere store. For giggles, I thought I'd go in and peruse the merchandise. Not expecting anything to fit me. The quiet shopkeeper came over to me after watching me for a few minutes. And proceeded to cup me, nod her head, open a drawer and hand me the most lacy ribbon adorned bra I have ever seen. She ushered me into the dressing room, gave me approximately 45 seconds of privacy, before entering and manhandling me once again. Very few words were spoken during this exchange. The first one didn't really fit but she came back with a bra mysteriously labeled 85C (have no idea what the western equivalent would be and through al the persuing I've done in the bras sold from the backs of trucks and underground I've never seen a letter bigger than A) that lo and behold...FIT! A bra! In Korea! I was thrilled with my discovery and was quick to purchase many different colors, all equally lacy and donned with ribbons. I'm not going to call any of them particularly pretty. But they're bras. And they fit.

Happy Birthday America!

The First week of July- otherwise known as the birthday week for the white colonial nations of North America. July 1st is Canada Day (add 1 more thing to my new found knowledge of that delightful country) and 3 days later is America's. I went with Michele and Maranda to an area north east of Seoul called Gangwon Do. First thing we did was go whitewater rafting down some rapids (making pit stops along the way to jump off rocks and partake in an odd ritual where the guide of your raft would hold you under neath ice cold streaming water, twisting your neck into the stream). That night we celebrated the 4th in grand style. BBQ, music, fireworks, juice box sizes of soju. We had it all. We also had mud wrestling, people passing out, steam engine snoring. Needless to say we started the next day's river trekking hike nearly 3 hours late and some stupid people who did the entire hike in 2,500 won flip flops from Homeplus. Like yours truly. I went pretty fast but my feet are still mad at me.

Partook in my second hike with Warren yesterday. Warren of the-lets-play-hopscotch-across-the-peaks-on-Bukhansan fame. We hiked in Buyongsan and Cheongseongsan, about a 2 hour commute from Jamsil. The group was small and extremely multicultural. I represented the only American, there were 2 Canadians, a Pakistani, a Bolivian born and raised Korean, and Warren making his outrageous generalizations about Chinese and Japenese and everybody in between. We hiked in 90 degree weather for about 16 km but the forests were beautiful and reminded me of parks back home. It took several hours to complete but Warren kept us entertained with the two Michael Jackson songs he had on his cell phone: We are the World and Beat It, which he kept playing over and over again while hiking in honor of MJ whom passed away yesterday. We also attempted to bust the myth of fan death, discussed which language bilingual people chose to curse in, and I discovered that I have the option of suing my doctor for giving me a semi-outie belly button. We ended the hike with my first ever hitchhiking experience! Warren wanted food and mekju so we hitched a ride in the back of a truck to a restaurant famous for its tofu soup. The Han River lazed peacefully next to us for most of this hike, as lazy and fat as rivers come with lily pads and rice growing thickly on its banks. I'm sure we were just a few miles from Seoul but it felt so far, far away from the ant hill chaos that the capital often fills like. For a few hours, at least.

There's a myth on Jeju that people take their elderly parents and grandparents to the island, and return home without them, having left the older folks there to roam as they will on the biggest island in Korea, a way of setting them free in their old age. Jeju is to Korea like fertile fields are to retired cows and horses. Jeju is called by some as the Hawaii of Korea, but I never really saw the comparison. It just didn't seem fair to do that. There are farms just a few yards away from white, sand beaches and the hills bear more resembelence to the rolling nature of Irealnd than the tropical sexiness of Hawaii. Whatever one wants to call Jeju is a personal choice, for me I call it the best place in all of Korea. And I'm making that bold statement having just seen a handful parts of the peninsula. The 3 M's of the Kids College office set off together yet again, with plans to meet up with a fourth M, a guy called Matt whom I met at Polly's Tavern in Itaewon a few months back. An excellent tour guide, and a pretty good looking guy as well :) He was gracious enough to show us around his island and even though we only had about 36 hours on the island, I'm fully satisified with how enthusiastically we embraced it.
On Friday night, after a commute where more time was spent traveling to the airport than in the actual air, we got a room at a cheap love motel and had mystery meat tacos at a Mexican restaurant. We got some beers to drink on a pier made entirely from giant man made rocks that looked like pieces from a game of Tetris. On Saturday we headed to Seongsan for a leisurely hike up to a very green, very large, very windy crater. As soon as we hit the top of it we were blasted by a wind that immobilized skirt-wearing Maranda until Michele rescued her with a pair of capri pants. We got our first glimpse of haenyeo's-female divers who scour the ocean floor off the island’s gnarled coast harvesting conch, octopus, urchin, and abalone, they dive without tanks holding their breath for up to two minutes at a time. Pretty impressive. And by impressive I mean tough as nails and scary as hell to meet out of water. Coupled with Matt's spirit guide bird, the Blue Rock Thrush, I felt as if I met the most authentic inhabitants of Jeju-do. After the hike we headed to Udo Island, a small island off the north east coast, where we rented scooters and scooted our way around an island that was as picturesque and as homey as tropical islands come. Like the foolish girls we are,we underestimated the power of sun when behind clouds and we all three developed interesting tan lines. And by tan lines I mean intense sun burns. Early Sunday morning I went swimming in cold, cold ocean water with the girls, refusing to leave the water until my legs were literally turning blue. We had been bitten by the scooter bug, so we chose to spend our remaining few hours on Jeju scootin' some more before taking the ferry back to the mainland, saying goodbye to Matt, and heading back to the airport to catch a reluctant flight back to Seoul.